Fairness Perfected. Happiness? Overrated.
Since we've now all embraced Socialism™ and finally kissed Greedy, Selfish, Free-Market Capitalism (GSFMC) goodbye once and for all, we at Socialism™ can't wait to unleash all of the wonders that we have in store!
Providing You With the Best Choices. Ours.
With private ownership abolished, and the glorious fairness that we all longed for finally here, worker-centric collectives are producing all of the products and services that GSFMC used to. Hooray!
Live a Simple Life. Or Else.
Gone are the GSFMC profit motive, incentives for achievement, and other GSFMC drivers based on human nature and organic market forces; here to stay is an economy—and, by extension, life itself—based on mandated economic equality, obsession with utility, and subservience to the collective.
Trying to Help Everybody by Fulfilling Nobody.
Driven by knee-jerk fervor, Zoomers, Millennials and others who rallied us all into this brave new world had a "cake-and-eat-it-too" vision of Socialism.™ Rest assured, we're here to deliver. Extreme fiscal parity has been achieved. The rich are no longer with us. But everything else from the bright, bodacious, bounteous Greedy, Selfish Free-Market Capitalism world of the past—the one you've enjoyed since birth, the one that invented virtually every technological, medical, agricultural and societal advancement and convenience you've only half-consciously marinated in your entire life (until now)—is going to carry on just like before. Forever. No problem. We got this. Promise.
Sincerely, Socialism™
